Brinkmann, again

For me, there is only one smoker.  The Brinkmann.  Cheap, reliable, simple enough for anyone to use, must have been a million sold.  You can have your ceramic cookers with their custom lump charcoal, your newfangled pellet smokers, your hand dug hole in the earth with bedsprings and a pickup truck load of good wood.  Just give me my electric Brinkmann smoker please.  And move out of my way.

Unfortunately Brinkmann after decades of manufacturing smokers declared bankruptcy about five years ago.  No more going to Lowe's and forking out $59 for the world's best and simplest home smoker system.  But first, let me describe the perfection that was the Brinkmann Electric Smoker.

1.  Perfect thickness of metal bullet.  Newer models either hold too much heat or are so thin they hold too little. The Brinkman Electric Smoker held the perfect amount of heat as long as you were using it outdoors in temperatures that ranged from, say, 40 degrees to 100 degrees Fahreinheit.  Timing is not exact when using the Brinkmann Electric Smoker because--kind of like using a sous vide--it is very difficult to burn anything. 

2. No digital readouts to fail after the first cookout.  Actually the Brinkmann Electric Smoker had NO readouts of any kind.  It did not even have a basic dial thermometer. Don't worry about it.  Smoking meat is an old technique, invented and perfected way before digital readouts

3. Simple to put together and store afterwards.  The Brinkmann Electric Smoker consists of a metal bullet with lava 'rocks' in the bottom. On top of those sit a simple electric heating element.  Moving upward are a couple of chrome racks, one with a water pan and the other where the meat sits.  And that is it.  All you need in addition is water and some primo wood chunks you have salvaged from the woods. For me, hickory is THE wood.  We have cherry, too, and it is good. If I were in the West, I would probably be into mesquite. But I am not. I am in the South where my entire life I  have smelled hickory smoke from the roadside and then whipped my car into the parking lot from which it was emanating. Rule of thumb: The better the pile of hickory, the better the barbecue. But for the home cook who does not need to smoke 200 pounds of meat today:  BRINKMANN ELECTRIC SMOKER+ Water+ chunks of fairly fresh hickory = home smoked meat perfection.  Assemble from the storage shed.  Smoke meat.  Clean racks and water pan.  Disassemble heating element and store is a safe dry location.  Put the rest of the smoker into a contractor bag and throw it into the storage building until the next smoked meat occasion arises.

WHY THE BRINKMANN SMOKER COMPANY WENT OUT OF BUSINESS

I am no business expert, but I have some longtime customer opinions.

First of all, there was a Brinkmann CHARCOAL Smoker.  Very very bad idea.  Never fall for this.  Charcoal is not a good heat source for smoking meat for 12 hours.  It is great for grilling a steak. It is as bad an idea as pellets for SMOKING meat.  Don't ask me to explain or I will need to tell you the decade of my life spent smoking chickens on a home charcoal smoker, and that story will make neither you nor me happy.

Secondly, the Brinkmann home smoker direction books and cookbooks were pretty much useless and very unappetizing, with recipes that sounded like something your great grandmother made in the 1950s.  Hawaiian Pineapple Smoked Spam.  That sort of thing.  And then the most crucial problem was that the Brinkmann home smoker cookbooks GROSSLY UNDERESTIMATED HOW LONG THE SMOKING PROCESS ACTUALLY TAKE IN A BRINKMAN SMOKER. 

Here is an example of that.  Most home cooks will try to smoke chickens in a propane fueled cast iron smoker.  Their cookbook gives them a cooking time.  They follow the instructions. The chickens always come out dry and with the ends of the drumsticks charred.  Fact.  Always.  So what they do is cut back on the cooking time and think the problem is solved.  Wrong.  Now their chicken is undercooked on the interior but with a nice patina on the exterior.  So they chop it all up and put some premade spice mixture over the entire bowl of chicken. 

Do you realize how bad that is?  on how many levels?

Rule of thumb.  When you read a time chart for a Brinkmann smoker, always double the time.  So if the book says to smoke the chickens for four hours, try overnight instead.  Put the chickens in the smoker when you go to bed, and take them off when you get up.  Or even after you've had coffee for an hour.  They will be fine.  And nothing will be burned. And they will be cooked and moist throughout.  Promise.

NEXT:   Scoring my latest Brinkmann smoker, a roadtrip